I miss you Mom... I love you!

It was on June 28 at 7am on a Sunday morning when Jimmy got the call that my mom had passed away in her sleep from a massive stroke.  I was in shock! Is this really happening and I thought I was in a bad dream. The pain of seeing your mom in the hospital lifeless and not moving and  cold to the touch makes every emotion come out.  As I paced the ER room hoping and wishing she would just say something to me, and realizing that this is it. She is no longer with us!

Many of you have asked how I was doing. Some of you have sent emails, text , and calls and  I really  appreciate them all. It's been two months now and the pain is still just as real as the first day. I just don't cry everyday and think about it non stop. I jumped back into life hoping to get some normal back, but really I was just trying to numb the emotions of the pain. When the house is still and everyone goes to bed I listen to her two voice mails on my phone and pretend to talk to her. I never thought you could ever hurt this bad. Some have asked if I am ok. Yes I am! I have talked to a counselor and know that this is just part of the grieving process and we all grieve differently. I am OK! I have God on my side and the pain will heal, just missing her will always be there.

My mom and I had a rocky relationship for many years, but these past two years things had been so good. I would drive out to her house and take her shopping, get her meds ready, and we would have a lunch date and I loved that time with her. Now looking back I am so thankful to God that I had those days with her! I hated getting her pre packaged meals for her dinners. I often wished I could stay longer at her house and make her dinner and share another cup of coffee with her before I hit the road. But I often felt the urgency to rush out to miss traffic. But I sure do wish I could change that now.  Tonight I saw something on TV and I laughed and grabbed my phone to call her because I wanted to tell her. At that moment the reality of her being gone hit me like a ton of bricks. I know she knew I loved her. I just hope she knew that I loved her a lot!

I was honored to speak at her service with my brother and sister!



I take great comfort in knowing that she is walking the streets of Gold and in the presence of our Mighty Savior!

How God Moves Part One

Missions trips! I have never been on a missions trip.  I hate flying, and to go into another country scared me. In April or May they were having a meeting at our church to talk about all the upcoming missions trips. Jimmy and Alexis wanted to go on one and Jimmy couldn't make it to the meeting so he asked me to go. I sat there and heard about the one that they were thinking about and then they came to the missions trip to Chiapas my heart started pounding and I started to cry! Yes I was crying in the meeting and I heard God speak to me and say you and Alexis are going on that trip. AAHHH what Lord? My heart was already there. So I told Alexis we were going! In June I got a job for the fall and realized oh shoot we can't go on our trip. I was so sad to tell Alexis because she was so excited to go. So I just dropped it. The trip was planned for the end October and it was already late August and a gentlemen asked me if we were going.  I was so sad to say no because of my new job. He challenged me and said if you really want to go ask for the time off and I will pay for one of your plane tickets! WHAT???  That started the ball rolling! I was able to get the time off. My new boss said I feel that this  is something God really wants you to do! In a matter of 2 months we raised $4,000 for both of us to go.

We had to gather all our things for our passports and get caught up on the meetings and find out what we needed to do. I was very overwhelmed.  When I get overwhelmed I usually quit and just give up on it.  This is something the Lord has been teaching me in this season. Just because it gets hard doesn't mean I need to quit. I need to be a fighter and the end result is always amazing when you push through the hard stuff.  I have seen myself quit in a lot of things or just not do a top notch job, but now I know that the hard stuff is good and it is shaping me into what God wants me to be.
I can't wait to share our trip that has changed my heart, my life and my walk with the Lord. I saw my daughter like I have never before and I know that God has called her to do BIG things! I am still trying to put into words how my heart feels about this trip. I miss the kids and people daily and look at the pictures  almost everyday! So it has taken me almost 2 months to process all that we experienced. I want to put it all into the right words. I can't wait to share!

Its a Raffle For Missions!

So today Alexis and I were brainstorming on ways we could raise our funds for our Mission's trip. Here is one of the ways we are raising the money. 

Alexis is having a raffle. 

Tickets are $10.00 

with your ticket you can win

Babysitter,

 2 movie tickets 

 $25.00 gift card for Lucille's 

We will announce the winner on September 5th.  

Please go to http://www.gofundme.com/d9id6o to enter to win and read a little bit of her story. If you don't want to pay there please feel free to email me at chela.williams@gmail.com.

Please share on FB or IG. We would love to get the news out there. Also in the next week I will be having an Auction on IG for a photo session with 

Keep your eyes open for that auction! Thank you so much for helping us make this missions trip possible! Have a blessed day!

Arms Open Wide - Surrender

This morning when I stood before the Lord I held my arms up and open wide. These past few weeks the Lord has been showing me some new and very real things about myself.  I have felt very worthless and disappointed in myself this past month.(which I know is not from the Lord)  God has called me to a season of waiting and it has been so HARD!!! It's been hard because I am a doer and I love to be involved in the ministry as much as I can as a leader.  What am I waiting for Lord? Waiting to see where he wants me to go, waiting to see his direction, and waiting to hear his voice.  During this waiting time I have seen a lot of things in me that I really need to just surrender to the Lord.  We can so easily say, "here Lord have your way with me but just with this one little area."  That's so easy right?  I know that's what I have done in the past.  So just this week the Lord has continued to show me that hey Chela this life that I have given you is not ALL ABOUT YOU! It's about serving others, it's about my family, my church family, my friends and most of all it's about GOD! So today I stood before the Lord and said, Here Lord with my arms open wide have your way with me.  My whole life is yours.

 I surrender.

This song by Hillsong United just really grabbed me and is everything I am saying to the Lord.  I have laid some pretty big things before the Lord in prayer and I know that I may not see them right now but I know he is working.  He is working even in the quiet waiting season that I am in right now! Praise God. I am not walking alone! 


"we live by faith, not by sight." 2 Cor. 5:7


"be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will." 1 Thes. 5:16-18

This verse has been so helpful to me right now.  Though I am not totally excited about a few circumstances I need to be joyful and just continue to pray and God's will will be done! I know that Gods timing is always better then mine.

Taking a time out

Thankful for times away with my family and friends! One of my prayers for this new year is that we as a family would have opportunities to go on small mini get aways.  I think it is really good for our family to stop in the craziness of our schedules and unplug and really have a great time! One of our family favorites it to go camping in the desert and ride dirt bikes, take fun rides with our friends and hang out by the campfire.  This time we had a lot of great families with us and it was just an awesome long weekend away.

The kids are keeping themselves entertained with a movie!

Excited to go for a ride in the rail! 

Alexis being a good big sister making sure her little brother is prepared! I think mommy needs one of these toys!

At night we let Chinese lanterns go!

since it was Valentines weekend I got Heart shaped ones!

Jimmy and Alexis

Getting ready to let them go!

Eli tried out my Quad.

So thankful for our friends that we have made.

Karissa such a sweetie!

The boys being boys!

He is such a cutie in all his gear

Alexis is mastering a bigger bike

The girls are out for a Ride

I love the sunsets out there! Our Camp Family!

Jehovah Rophi- God who Heals

Jehovah Robhi God who heals! Our great physician.  So many  of you know we have been battling Elisha's ear infection for some time now. On Monday we were sent in to have a ct- scan to see how the infection in the bone was. Well when we went in to discuss the results with the doctor he was totally prepared to tell us what we needed to do.

Ok so let me back up to last week. As I was praying for our family and Eli I heard the Lord ask me have you really laid Eli before me? Have you trusted me to heal him and have you surrendered him to me? Oh my goodness no Lord I have not completely.  So that day I laid all of him before Lord and I said I TRUST you Lord with my son, your child.  So in my dailytime with God my journal and prayer time and bible reading all had to do with Trust.  Not by my plan, but I know by God's plan!

So lets go back to today! Sitting in the  doctors office the doctor said let me look at his ear. He looked and laughed and looked at Jimmy and I and said, "WOW! It is clear. It looks great! I really don't know what to say.. I have not seen it look that GOOD in a month."  He proceeded to tell us what we could do as for options like surgeries, but he said, "really I think we are on the road to recovery!" He said, "lets continue to do drops and a different antibiotic for one week.  I really think we are going to see a  change and wont need to do anything else!" He was in such shock that he even had another doctor come in to look at it to get another opinion. That doctor gave us an all clear also!!!

Jimmy and I were walking out to the car and I said to Jimmy can you believe it? Jimmy looked at me and said, "Because a lot of people were praying." Yes they were! IF YOU PRAYED FOR OUR SON WE want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!  Thank you for caring enough to stop in your day and pray for ELISHA RYAN WILLIAMS.  Thank you for believing in our Great PHYSICIAN and having FAITH in your prayers! I have no words for what GOD is doing in my son and in my FAMILY. Daily God has asked me to sit before him and I have been.  His voice has become the loudest voice I hear.  His voice is guiding me along this journey of PEACE.  I am so thankful, honored and blessed.  I am so excited to see all that God is going to do in Eli's life.  He ROCKS our world. He is full of life, and has a gentle spirit.  He does things that we sometimes just don't know what he is thinking. But we do know this.  He is going to change the World! GOD HAS A PLAN and nothing can be better then to Live out the plan of GOD!!!

Exodus 15:26

He said, "If you listen carefully to the voice of the LORD your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the LORD, who heals you."

Psalm 107:19-21

Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress.  He sent forth his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave.  Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men.

Psalm 30:2

O LORD my God, I called to you for help and you healed me.

Elisha Ryan
His name means
My God is my Savior and King

God has a plan!

It's the New Year Praise GOD!!!! It has started off well.  Thankful for what God is already doing.  A few weeks ago I was shopping at Hobby Lobby are you surprised? I came across this awesome Verse that I have always loved and I wanted to buy it for someone.  Well there were two there and of course I bought both and they were two different verses.  I was inspired to give one to a friend that I love and the other one the Lord said to keep it. On January first I sat down to do my devotion and it was on Jermiah 29:11.  This verse has been  spoken over me since  I was young.   Last year I had some very key verses that I would run to, but this year God has daily pointed me to this verse! Remember that sign I bought and Lord said keep it.  Jimmy brought it in from the car a few days ago and as I looked at it it was Jeremiah 29:11. I smiled! This morning in Service Ryan quoted the verse again. Every time I hear it I hear God whispering to me. I HAVE A PLAN... As I have entered into this year I have literally have laid it all out before the Lord. Taking it one day at a time. Embracing whatever God has for me.  I am walking into this year with a few things that I offered before the Lord.  Here are some of them. A lot of them are my goals for the year too!

*Daily sit at Gods Feet
*I would love to get a part time job. I love my photography and it does well but I would love something  Monday-Friday.
*Getting back into doing more at our Church
*Spending quality time, and investing in my Friends
*Making my home a place of peace, and joy.
*Loving my Husband better making him feel my love in ways that he loves. Being respectful towards him
*Help and teach my children what a relationship with Christ looks like.
*Make dinner almost every night and eat as a family.
*Have dates with Alexis and Eli
*Not to be consumed with Social media (It really is a time sucker)
*At least one weekend away with Jimmy
*I would love for our family to have 3 family vacations this year (even if they are mini)
*Better sleeping habits
*Better eating Habits as a family

I am looking forward to this year! I know that there will be trials at times but I do know that I am armed

 and ready.  This Song by Hillsong speaks to me in such a powerful way I love it! Listen to it be encouraged and be prepared for what God is calling you to! I love how she says I am yours and you are mine! After the year of 2013 I want to go deeper, and I want my faith to go deeper. Listen to the Words I promise you will cry, and want to go deeper and experience GOD in way like you have never experienced GOD!! Do you want your faith stronger?  LISTEN and worship our Mighty GOD!!

I Never thought I would say I was thankful for this past year.....

I have been writing this blog in my head for the past week.  I have been pondering over this past year and reflecting on what I  have learned, what I have gained, and what I have lost ( I am not talking about my weight either). This morning in my time with the Lord I was thanking God for what I walked through this year.  Now if you would have  told me in February or March that I would be thanking God in December I would have laughed at you.   The year 2013 was the hardest year of my life.  Many times I would yell..I HATE THIS YEAR IS IT OVER YET??? Some days I felt like I had no more to give and there was no way I am going to make it. As I sit here in Starbucks with my tea in hand and looking at my calendar I see that this year is coming to an end. When did this happen? Well it happened once I stopped yelling at God at how much I hated this year and focused on what God wanted me to gain from this year  then it went by a lot faster.  I am not saying that I will not have troubles and hurts in 2014.  I don't believe there is some kind of  magic in the turning of the year, but I do know we gain a new perspective in a new year!
"Rejoice in your suffering, suffering produces perseverance, perseverance character and character hope."

Romans 5:3

This year started off with a Bang! Right after a fun week in the dessert with the family I came home to a life changing moment.  I got a phone call that my mom was admitted in the hospital.  At this time we didn't know what had happened but we soon found out.  She had a stroke.  This opened our eyes up to so much.  During this time my sister and brother and I had to come together to figure out what are we going to do with her and how are we going to take care of her. It was very stressful and hard and I hated every minute of it! A lot of phone calls had to be made and going through all of our moms things was not fun.  From the hospital she was moved to a rehab facility and this was a time saver as we tried to figure out what was our next step.  Just for those of you who don't know my relationship with my mom up to this point  had been very Rocky, hard moments with her.   But I also heard God telling me she is my mom and I needed to respect her and help care for her. We did a lot visiting and taking care of her even when she was there in the Care Facility.  I would take the kids to see her because I thought it was important for them to help too.  It was time for my mom to be released from the care unit  and we had no where for her to go at the time because she went mostly blind and needed help with everything! My amazing Uncle said she could stay with him for a bit while we figured it out.  Well on the way home that night after we got her settled in I heard the Lord say Honor your mom and move her into your home. WHAT?????? NO WAY GOD!!! Well God spoke to Jimmy to and  it confirmed it with me.  So we did!! YIKES!!! Those three months were so very hard! But now I look back and see how God was bringing so much of my past to the surface. So many hurts and wounds that I never let be exposed or healed.  In all Areas of my life.  I saw where I needed to work on my marriage, my mothering, my friendships and most of all my walk with the Lord.  During this time I started to see a counselor that walked me through so many things that helped me. A few times I needed a stern "CHELA what are you thinking?" During this time I could see that I either was going to fight for my marriage or lose it.  During this time I had a very special person in my life walk away from me.  During this time I lost my Grandma. A mighty women of God that taught me what a relationship with Christ looks like and what it means to be a servant to all! I got a phone call from my Uncle telling me that it was Nana that Requested me to speak at her Funeral.  I couldn't believe it and I felt so honored to be part of such a day.  She will ever be a memory to me of so many things, but most importantly the prayer warrior she was.  I know I am the Christian I am today because of the many prayers my Nana said for me.
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope and certain what we do not see."Hebrews 11:1

So my mom moved in and lived with us for three months and then we moved her out and I felt a release from the Lord. During the time she lived with us all four of us Jimmy, me and the kids shared our room. One time all I wanted to do was cry and scream so I found myself sitting on the toilet in our bathroom because it was the only room in the house that there wasn't any one.  It was a challenge but I heard God say I did this more for you then for your mom.  I can believe that now. As the months have gone on my sister and I have learned a way to take care of her and it has worked out well.  I am so thankful for my sister and all her help! As the summer was approaching and the tension in our home was pretty strong I could sense that God needed me to reach out to him even more.  I needed to lay my family down in prayers. I needed to pray for my husband and kids. I needed to pray for my marriage and where we were headed. I had been in a pit and I was allowing the enemy to lie to me day after day and I was becoming this CRAZY lady!! YES CRAZY!!! Jimmy and I were fighting non stop and   honestly at this time in our lives I think he would rather stay at work then come home.  It was awful.  Not only did the beginning of the year bring up a lot of hurts, but it brought up a lot of insecurities that I have.  FEAR was a huge one. Fear of Jimmy leaving me and finding someone who is beautiful, fun and not Crazy, Fear that my kids thought I was a bad mom. Fear of being alone. Fear that I would never be used again in the ministry.  So many fears. One night I heard myself tell Jimmy I just fear that you won't love me anymore.  I heard it FEAR!!! It crippled me. Then another awful fight brought me to me knees before God and calling my closest friends to stand with me in prayer I realized something has to change in me. Here I thought I needed to change my husband, but God kept pointing his finger at ME!!! Chela you need to work on yourself!
"Trust in him at all times. O people pour out your hearts to him for God is our refuge." 
Psalm 62:8

In the middle of August God had asked me to start  my day on my knees before him and praying only for Jimmy, us, and the kids.   Also during this time I finally saw why God had me take a step back from my leadership at the Church.  My family is way more important.  God reminded it will be there waiting in Gods timing not mine.  Would I be able to focus on my family if my focus was somewhere else? My ministry was my family. I committed to it and to this day December 30th I  am still committed to it.  I have been fighting this battle and rejoicing in the miracles before they happen.  I know that the Victory has been won! I have never grasp onto scripture like I do now, I have never worshiped God like I do.  My relationship with Christ is stronger then it ever has been.  Ryan spoke at church one Sunday on Seasons and that they all have a beginning and end.  Well I knew this was a season.  It will have an end but I am not Rushing it.  God has given me a clearer direction of my life.  He has had people praying for us.  He even had a person see a vision over my family and to tell me that Yes Chela GOD hears your prayers and he is at work. Praise GOD!!!! Jimmy and I are doing AMAZING! We have been laughing a lot, sharing more and kissing a lot. (I love that)  and anytime the enemy tries to lie to me I fight him off with Scripture. I have seen a change in my husband.  I have seen his smile again. I have seen his fun again I have seen his passion for our family. I have seen healing in him too!  I know that my husband loves me with all his heart and I can't wait to see where he leads us as  husband and wife and as a family. I know that our family has been called to do many things for the Kingdom of God.  I am so excited! I know that the enemy is so afraid of our family, but he will NOT win! I am taking it one day at a time.
 Each new day is amazing. Sometimes I hit a bump in the road, but I know how to battle it now. I also learned that this LIFE that God gave me is not all about ME!!!! That the Enemy is very real and ready to kill, steal and destroy.  Guard your heart. Every morning when I get up I put on the Armor of God and I feel so prepared for the day and what I may battle! I know that everyday needs to start in prayer and thanksgiving even when things are amazing I will never let my guard down again.  My Husband and kids are way to important to me.

I really don't know how people go through life with no hope.  My hope is in the Lord! Here are a few things that got me through and are still getting me through this season.
*God's word 
*listening to Worship Music all the time
*my friends praying for me and with me
*The book The Power of a Praying Wife
* The Book Prayer Warrior
*Jesus Calling 

So YES I am looking forward to this new year! I am looking forward to see some of the promises that God made to me fulfilled.  I am excited to tackle this new year with a different perspective and I am ready to walk into this new year hand in hand with my love.  I don't make new year resolutions but I  make goals! I am working on those goals right now and I am excited to share them.  Not sure who reads this. But If you ever want to talk or share your heart or someone to pray with you I am here for you.

* A special thanks to:
Kelli 
Ryan and Johanna
Justin and Stephanie
Adam and Ronalee 
Robin
Lynnae 
Peggy
Dave
Amy
Beth
Dad
Sissy
Erik and Corrine
They have prayed with me  and for my family! They sent me emails, Texts messages, and hugs when I needed them. They shared their time with us and their hearts too! They believed in us and always pointed us back to God! They never judged us or held anything against us and I am forever thankful for your Love and Relationships.
This song is an amazing worship song that to this day brings me tears, to my knees in worship and I know THAT GOD IS ALWAYS WITH ME and ALWAYS comes through!

Whom Shall I Fear [God of Angel Armies] [Lyrics]

When I woke up this morning I was singing this song.  Walking through a few things and I know that all of it is in God's control. He has made many promises to me about my marriage, my family, and my kids and over my husband.  Sometimes we have to go to battle. The way God has shown me to fight this battle is on my knees! I was reminded today the enemies main goal is to kill, steal and destroy.  He will not be doing any of that in my home! I have an Angel of Armies by my side! I can't wait to share all that God has done and what he continues to do!

What I have learned these past two weeks:
*conquering fear
"So do not fear, for I am with you;do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

*I know that Christ Loves me
Because along this Journey he has talked to me, given me promises and shows me daily how much he loves me through his scriptures.

*The Enemy is a HUGE Liar
Because when he tries to tell me lies I start to shake and I know that is not truth.

*my ministry right now is my Family
I had more then one person tell me in the past month that  for this season I am to be the wife, and mother that they need me to be and that I need to firmly plant my feet in  my home and fill it with worship music and prayer!